Thursday, January 10, 2013

In all honesty…

I have been contemplating ideas for the title of this blog post for a few days now with contenders such as “Family Portrait” (because I recently visited my family and there’s always so much to say and process after a trip back home) and “Mirrors” (because I noticed how many mirrors there are in homes and apartments in Toronto and I wanted to compare this with the mirrors in apartments I’ve stayed in Brussels which are always fewer and always placed just slightly too high — Belgians aren’t known for being tall, are they? Anyway, the topic of mirrors seemed to lend itself nicely to making inferences about where I am and comparing places and experiences and… well, you get the picture).

But in retrospect, what I really want this blog post to be about is honesty. I haven’t been completely honest with you. And from where should I start except at the beginning? Truth is, I am no longer in Armenia. I can’t say whether this is a short break or a long one, but since September I’ve been living in Brussels, working on a master’s degree in communication studies. In many ways I miss Armenia. I miss my friends, my partner, my community. But in other ways, I am enjoying being here and being a full-time student most of all. What a luxury it is to simply read and write, analyze and debate, ponder and explore all the possibilities that life has to offer (but from your seat behind a desk, LOL). And in many ways, looking back, I feel like I’ve been living in a bubble — in a euphoric, removed from the reality of life kind of bubble. I have no regrets. I am happy to be where I am and I know it’s where I need to be. But part of me is scared — what happens next? Where will this road lead? It’s an exciting yet far from secure and stable place to be.

I hope this partly explains why I haven’t been posting frequently lately (which, let’s face it, wasn’t more than once a month anyway — but at least it was regularly). I find that I’m dealing with too much that’s new in my life right now (which is a good thing!) that I’m not finding the time or the space to sit down and compose it all in a nice little blog post. Also, I want to keep this blog fairly Armenia-centered and since I haven’t been following developments in the country as closely as I did before, I don’t want to write about something I’m not thoroughly informed about. The good news is the research I’ll be doing for my master’s thesis will be examining how civil society in Armenia uses information and communication technologies, so I hope to post some of what I’m coming across in my research over the coming months.

Stay tuned…

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